by Fernando Acevedo
For those looking for a partner in the age of smartphones there are many options to choose from in terms of dating apps. Anything from one-night hookups, to long term relationships, and even getting married, there’s something out there for everyone.
However, with so many apps, some may be tempted to ‘play the field’ and explore their options, leading to some people ‘pocketing’ their partners.
Pocketing: What is it?
Pocketing is when someone excludes any mention of their romantic partners on their social media.
There are many logical reasons for this, including wanting to keep a professional appearance on social apps. Nowadays, many business connections are made through platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Leaving intimate pictures out of these profiles makes them feel more business-oriented.
However, there are also many reasons why dating app users would choose to purposefully keep their partners out of the spotlight.
TODAY show co-host Justin Sylvester explained pocketing in conversation with host Jenna Bush Hager:
“There are some nasty people out there that will slide into someone’s DMs because they think your man is the one,” he said. “So keep him off of social media.”
In the world of social media, there are many ways to get tempted into flirting through ‘direct messages’ while in a relationship. Because of this, partners who do not see themselves and their relationship posted on their counterpart’s social media may have something to worry about.
“This is the thing, ladies and gentlemen,” Sylvester continued. “I always say, if I’m in a serious relationship and we’re ready to take that next step and we have to have that exclusive conversation, then you should let the world know.”
“At least a story. Minimum,” he concluded.
Taking Action Against Pocketing
Dating apps offer users many ways to meet according to the type of relationships they like to have. Some are more suited to finding ‘the one’, while others are perfect for one night stands. But if there’s no desire to look for a call back, then there’s new apps like MeetNFuck which are much more frank in user intent.
Either way, there should be communication between both partners as to the type of relationship they want.
While pocketing can make it seem as though a person is single and available, it can quickly become a toxic behavior. The person being pocketed is often unaware of the situation they’re in, and that they’re not being given the respect they deserve.
“You can’t have it both ways,” says relationship expert Susan Winter, who also contributed to the TODAY show conversation. “You can’t get the best of us in private and then hide us from the public. It makes the person feel like you’re ashamed of them, or that they’re inferior or inadequate and nobody wants to feel that way.”
Certainly it is important to consider the feelings of the person being pocketed, and the undue stress it may cause them. For those looking to stay away from commitment, they may find greater success in apps meant for those purposes, where both parties know what they’re getting into.
Of course there’s always the old school hook-up app like Badoo, POF, LocalSexApp, and others that will remain flourishing as well. New trends haven’t erased their ability to connect individuals looking for a fun night, not yet.
New Dating Trends
Besides pocketing, there are other dating habits trending in the ‘new normal’. The pandemic, combined with an influx of new apps are contributing to creative ways for people to get together.
One of these trends is dry dating, which means that there is no alcohol involved. For many, dating can be an anxious endeavor, and alcohol has often been a crux to ease the nerves and act more relaxed.
According to the popular dating app Bumble, alcohol won’t play a central role in dating for 2022. Data from the company’s users found that 34% of daters around the world are more likely to go on a dry date than before the pandemic. Similarly, 29% of Americans believe that the relationship between dating and drinking is changing.
Dating will most likely change in many ways throughout the coming years, but for many this is an exciting time with many ways to meet their next partner.
