Fear of shame or feeling ‘weak’ is deterring many boys and young men from seeking help for mental health problems, new research has found. The survey by youth mental health charity stem4 also shows that many do not receive support when they ask for it.
Over a third (37%) of boys and young men aged between 14 and 21 said they were currently experiencing mental health difficulties. Of these, 51% had not spoken to anyone, 21% were receiving treatment, and 29% had asked for help but were not receiving treatment.
The most prevalent mental health difficulties were stress (47%), anxiety (27%), and depression or low mood (33%). Other common problems included eating disorders (11%), anger and behavioural issues (10%) and self-harm behaviours (9%).
The survey of 1,100 boys and young men by stem4, which works to prevent mental ill health in teenagers and young people, found that almost half (46%) of respondents would not ask for help for a problem that was making them upset, anxious or depressed, “even if things got really bad.” When asked what was stopping them, 36% said they didn’t have the courage, 32% said they “don’t want to make a fuss” and 30% said they would feel weak or ashamed. A fifth (21%) worried that people would laugh or think less of them, and 14% said they would “feel less masculine”. Meanwhile, 15% said they don’t know how to ask for help.
The survey also explored the effect of cultural factors, with seven in ten saying that boys and young men are negatively portrayed in the media. Almost half (46%) identified “pressure from peers to behave in a dominant masculine way” as having a negative impact on the mental health of boys and young men.
A quarter (25%) of boys and young men said being associated with peers who treat girls and women disrespectfully was one of the factors most likely to damage young men’s mental health. Other factors identified were loneliness, bullying, and the pressure to look good or have a good body.
Dr Nihara Krause, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, and CEO and founder of stem4, the charity which works to prevent mental ill health in young people and teenagers, said: “We live in a culture that puts huge pressure on boys and young men to behave in particular ways, many of them damaging to their mental health. Our survey shows exactly why this is so damaging, with many suffering in silence, even when they’re approaching crisis point. If we’re going to tackle boys and young men’s mental health, we have to address the cultural blind spots to male mental health. It’s also time to start listening properly to boys and men, understand how they express their needs, and provide services that will benefit them.”
Comments from the boys surveyed, included:
§ “As you get older no one cares about your mental health, so you say you’re OK when you’re not, because you’re supposed to be a man. And men aren’t supposed to have emotions. Parents push toxic masculinity onto their children. It messes their head up later in life. But who really cares that we’re suffering?” 16-year-old schoolboy, London
§ “There is nowhere near enough support. Young people need know it’s okay to say I’m NOT okay.”
20-year-old university student, Wales
§ “I had a suicide attempt and I got told to man up. if I was a girl, I would get so much more support.”
15-year-old Schoolboy from East of England
§ “There is support, but it’s difficult to talk about mental health issues when you get laughed at.”
§ 16-year-old Schoolboy, North East
§ “People like us like to hide in the shadows and push everyone away. The chances of us reaching out and actually speaking are slim to none. 18-year-old Schoolboy East of England
§ “Some of us are genuinely struggling with stuff, but don’t say anything. It’s hard to see because it depends on how the person is handling it. If you do say something, nine out 10 you’ll get told to man up.” 20-year-old, South West
§ People honestly don’t give a shit about boy’s mental health, society only allows women to be victims, just because of a certain group of stupid men.”
17-year-old college student, Yorkshire & The Humber.
§ In schools, only girls get support for things like mental health. Boys are seen as the problem.”
16-year-old schoolboy, East Midlands 4
§ It’s hard to keep up with everything and all the pressure to be the best and look the best, it makes you feel bad.” 14-year-old schoolboy, Scotland
