by Rebecca Jane \\ Columnist
DING DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD! Or in other words, my old nemesis Joe has finally packed up his shit and danced his way out of the place I once called home… Otherwise known as ‘that mental asylum where I fully lost my mind and my dignity 27 times a week’.
Yes, the producers finally saw sense, knocked the ridiculous concept of ‘vote to save’ on the head and let the public decide who they wanted to ‘evict’. You can call it sour grapes, but if that had been done two weeks ago, I wouldn’t be sat here writing for you now. Why? Because Joe, is quite rightly, virtually hated by the public. If you don’t watch Big Brother, let me tell you where my beef comes from.
Joe hated me from the moment I took my sparkly self down the Big Brother village stairs… I tried making conversation with him, he ignored me. He belittled me, and a lot of people, in that house whenever we spoke. He paced up and down the house telling us all he was going to ‘smash the place up’ at least 5 times a week.
During a task we had our coffee taken away from us, he spent twenty minutes at the bottom of the diary room stairs telling us all he was ‘weighing up what he could throw to create the most damage’, he called Raph a ‘sneaky little prick’ on many occasions, he also told him he needed a ‘one way ticket back to America’ (IMAGINE if we told Deborah or Hannah they needed a one way ticket to Nigeria!) He was one of THE most intimidating people I ever met, and at times I genuinely felt scared of him. I knew he hated me.
We were given a task where he had to say who ‘wasn’t being themselves’ in the house. He named me. No shock, I ignored it and moved on. Joe sat in the garden later, doing his usual intimidating conversations.
‘If I don’t like people, they will know, and I don’t give a f**k’ – standard.
I laughed it off. He said a comment to me, I simply replied ‘I know you hate me Joe’. He then used that to inform me that he didn’t ‘hate’ me, it was that I ‘irritated’ him. The way I smiled, laughed, spoke… I didn’t let him see how much it bothered me. I vented out of his presence. He wasn’t content with me letting it go. I sat down in the garden later in the evening, he asked me ‘Are you still mad Rebecca?’… To which I told him, ‘I think you’re mean’ (because he is) ‘How would you feel if I was your daughter?’. To which he decided to go on an offensive, squaring up to me, calling me a ‘stupid little whatever…’
Now the problem is Joe, he lacks brain cells. Which is one of the reasons he had SUCH issues with Charlotte and I. To be fair, if I was him, I’d feel insecure around us both too! But Joe could not even remotely understand my point, it’s a simple concept.
‘Put yourself in someone else’s shoes’. My parents were emotionally ruined with me in that house, they weren’t dealing with it well, and I knew it. I knew they would be traumatic having to sit at home and watch a man who is nearly 60 years old personally attack my appearance and try to assassinate my character. I left a few days later. To say I’m glad he’s gone is an understatement, the house have finally had ‘the dark cloud of doom’ lifted.
Friday’s eviction show.
Can I just say, I don’t understand all the hate for Tom? Yes, he’s not the most mature wine in a vineyard, but he’s hilarious. I loved living with him. He can be sneaky, make bad judgements and be a bit of a goon, but he has some great qualities. You cannot tell me that his drunk diary room sessions are not some of the best viewing! The night before the eviction show he staged a one man protest in the diary room. My god, haven’t we all done them – you just don’t see them! Big brother can royally piss you off, leaving you in the garden for 3 hours, not turning on air con until you want to die… so we have to stage protests, batteries out of microphones is the easiest. Tom took it to another level and broke out of the diary room, and got a very stern Big Brother punishing him with jail the next day… truth is, I once did the exact same thing. Well, I broke IN the diary room. I was pissed, pissed off they left me waiting to go in for hours when I had fully lost my mind. So I ran up the stairs, put my foot on the wall, pulled the door off the hinges and MADE them speak to me.
I also refused to talk to them anymore about Kieran, maintenance didn’t fix the door for two days. Whenever they asked me about Kieran I walked out, they would call me back. They got told to ‘f off’. I spent my life arguing with Big Brother. We had a love hate relationship. Point being, they didn’t punish me… so why they made a point of punishing Tom, I’ll never understand….
‘I am not a wally, I am not an idiot’ – Simone. Did you know that Simone stated ‘I can’t even spell game’ and she claimed she hadn’t had a fight in 11 years, but the conviction that sent her to jail was 8 years ago. That spells out she hasn’t got the highest IQ level to me. HOW she is in that house, I’ll never understand. We all had to hand over criminal disclosure certificates… my brain is pickled. What I can say, if I was locked in a house with someone who had a conviction for GBH, I’d be furious. That house is volatile, intense and on a knife edge at the best of times. Whilst I have appreciation that people have served their time… you don’t need to stick them in the Big Brother house. My other concern with Simone, she appears PERMANENTLY pissed. We’re not allowed alcohol before 7pm, it’s all limited, given in stages and it’s difficult to get drunk. I don’t drink on the outside, but I did in the house, and even I couldn’t get entirely drunk. Simone doesn’t get ‘drunk’ she gets wasted. To the point where I now wonder if it’s an act… Either way, the woman is a state, a complete embarrassment to the Big Brother legacy and needs to self evict, pronto!
Isabelle… Appeared three times in tonight’s program, once to nearly fall over trying to catwalk, once to actually fall over in the bedroom and the other to grab a bit of airtime by chucking salt all over the floor. The only thing I’ll say about Isabelle, I love the fact how she owns her orange’ness.
Ellie and Sam – I can’t hack it. LET ME SET THIS STRAIGHT. The task where Isabelle and Savannah came in… we all sat around and said how Sam was playing a game. I fought for him to come in, I wanted Ellie to have someone. However, Ellie said she found it strange he had been on Ibiza Weekender (her program) and claimed to not know anyone in the house. Sam also knows Kieran. He has also appeared on goodness knows how many reality TV shows.
The house declared him a fame whore, one that was simply saying he liked Ellie because she is a house favourite and he wanted to come in as some knight in shining armour. Ellie KNEW all of this, SAID all of this… and it took all of 23 minutes for it to be forgotten and she was attached to his face. I HOPE for their sake it’s real. My judgement is reserved.
Finally… Let’s move on to my dear little Kieran… The quiz that Raph had to take in order to see how well he knew Kieran, I was his other half in the house, I would have failed. Ha! Kieran is a clever little cookie. He summed it up well when he said Sue was the biggest game player, for saying ‘different things to different people’. Sue, my dear, is what you call ‘two faced’.
Simple. She tells Kieran how much she loves him and he will win the program, but behind his back she slates him for ‘game playing’. If I could go back in the house, I’d be shaking Kieran for his comment that Chanelle the most entertaining. What a load of superior bullshit. Chanelle is acting 24/7 and even her laugh is fake. Chanelle once told me how much she loved an outfit I was wearing, it was ‘so good’, I should ‘wear it for an eviction night’. Behind my back she said I looked like a prostitute. If there was one thing you could not say about me in that house, it’s that I was two faced, or fake.
I’m constantly asked who I want to win… and my answer is easy. Kieran. Not because I know him and I’m bias, but because there are very few worthy winners left. I told him before we left home, I would leave early and he would be in the final. Kieran is a far more rounded, stable and grounded person than I could ever be, he deserves this. I take absolute FURY to Sue or anyone calling him a game player. He’s a genuine great guy, I don’t keep bad company. If I was still in there, he would be sitting back and taking it, I would be ON FIRE with how angry these comments make me. Social media lit UP with questions for me, asking if I was bothered about Kieran being most attracted to Deborah. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I like Deborah for a start.
I also know he loves her personality and the way he can have a laugh with her. Deborah is a dark horse in this competition, and I wish her all the best, in my opinion she would also be a worthy winner… but am I jealous? Not at all… after all, if you’ve been reading the press over the past few days… I’ve now found ‘love’ with my former dreamboy, right?!… And, I’ll just leave that one there.
