by Ray Jorden
Well how happy am I right now, being asked to do a column on one of the best comedy shows on TV written by the very talented Derren Litten, and as a super fan of the show since Season One, I can only be talking about the wonderfully amazing Benidorm!!!!
Now time to check in to the Solana!!
As we see the gorgeous Bill Dawson sitting by the pool trying to find a way of putting his spoilt little “Shirley Temple” daughter through stage school, forever griping Sheron thinks he is up to no good, well Sheron love if I were there I can assure you he would be love me in the penthouse suite!! Count yourself lucky dear you!!
All of a sudden you hear what can only be described as a small animal noise, I though fuck me there is a Guinee pig in the house, then I realize it was the over acting noise coming from their daughter Jodie, who sees a very fat grim reaper coming towards here, well it can only be grandad Eddie, in fancy dress as his suit cases have still not been found and returned to him, so he decides to raid the hotel fancy dress box, sorry Eddie but I think we all preferred you in your bright kaftan dress!
So we see the handsome Tiger Dyke and his friend Joey having breakfast, but Tiger the way you are holding that sausage on your folk, I might just have to pause the TV for a while and imagine…..anyways I digress, the conversation is “would you rather” that old game. Great to see Sam back on the show working as a rep, and since the boys let her down after Joey mistakenly thought they were going on a free trip to Ibiza, they owed her a favor and they certainly pay their dues that’s for sure….keep reading.
Sheron typical showbiz mum receives an email in regards to an audition invite for Jodie for a commercial, and as you can imagine Sheron sees stars, fame and fortune, so goes into overdrive to send her a video of Jodie saying her lines in hope that she will get the part, well it all goes to shit as per usual, so Jodie wanders off and gets Joyce Temple Savage, the Solana manager to video it for her and email the piece off!
Is it me or does Nana Chase have a head too big for her body? It just does not sit right with me, but hey ho!
Lovely to see Jacqueline back at the Solana and back in Blow ‘n’ Go with Kenneth and Liam, after all she is a seeping partner and that she did very well, still miss Donald very much don’t we! Kenneth as usual is looking very bright in one of his camp outfits, while sexy Liam is always smartly dressed for work, the Benidorm style of course, although if his shorts were any tighter I don’t think he will find his change!! And Derren Litten, if your reading this when Liam comes out, please can I be his older love interest please!!
Jacqueline whips out this tacky gold award that Salon owner Troy, asked her to bring out to display in Blow ‘n’ Go, which he won for one of his other salons in the UK, little did they know it has a secret camera inside it recording everything in Blow ‘n’Go, I would not like to be in Kenneth’s orange flops right now…. This story line is bound to be Benidorm gold.
Talking of gold…..
Joyce Temple Savage in a flap rushes over to Mateo at the outside bar, there is a meat crisis in the kitchen and poor Lesley is trying to sort it out! When I think of meat I do think of Mateo and his greasy devilish looks. He tells Joyce that he will ask his friend who has a farm nearby and you can imagine what happens next!!
Mateo and Lesley get to the farm and arrange with his friend to deliver some meat, after their visit to Mr Wu’s resulted in him offering the pair some panda and snake meats!! I really love how the friendship and acceptance between Mateo and Lesley has developed in to something special which really translates on screen, plus the comedy banter is priceless.
As we wrap up this episode we are all in Neptune’s bar, where Joyce is trying the stew from the meat that was delivered earlier, she is thrilled and says it’s delicious, but with a confession from Mateo that the meat was baby rabbit, while being over heard by hotel rep Sam, Joyce went in to a comedy rage and told no one to tell any of the guests what the really was, just say it’s soup of the day and smile she says!!
So armed with this info and her ongoing feud with Joyce, Sam decided to sing a song and inform the guests that she hopes they enjoy their baby rabbit stew courtesy of Mateo, while singing Bright Eyesfrom the movie Watership Down, and as you can imagine the guests erupted in true Benidorm comedy style, ending on what was truly another amazing episode from the genius Derren Litten.
Thanks for reading my episode best bits and will see you all in Neptune’s Bar real soon for fun and frolics.
See Ya
Ray xxx
